Javier

His head comes up the second I’m through the door and oh my god. The pictures on the internet didn’t do him justice. I’m stunned by how incredibly beautiful he is. Men are not beautiful, they are handsome or elegant or I don’t even know, but not beautiful.

Yet, Javier Castillo is no other word but beautiful. Skin the color of warm honey is stretched taut over razor-sharp cheekbones that match his strong, square jaw. He is all hard lines and angles, his nose straight and bold over thick molded lips—the only soft thing among the hard lines. Long black lashes frame glowing hazel eyes. Thick chocolate-brown hair is threaded with silver at his temples. My fingertips tingle at the thought of learning his beautiful face by touch.

Our eyes meet and scorching heat burns away everything I thought I knew about myself. I want more heat, crave it in a way I don’t understand. Desire gnaws at me to touch him, to confirm he’s real, that this is no dream—except I’ve never had a dream like this before.

Fear screams through me at my crazy response to him causing my eyes to drop from his.

“Who the hell are you and how the fuck did you get in here?” His voice is deep, rich, and smoky as it rumbles out of him.

The words are a prod compelling me forward. My heart is pounding so loudly in my ears I wonder if he can hear it. On rubbery legs I’m in front of his desk. “Esperanza Martinez, your new nanny.”

I offer him the black file, wondering if he will be annoyed when I admit I go by Hope—which is what Esperanza means in English.

He frowns, doesn’t take the file—doesn’t even acknowledge it. How the hell is he still so gorgeous even with the very scary frown? In a bid to prevent him from throwing me out on my fat ass, I keep talking, this time in Spanish as I set the file in front of him.

“I’m from the Thornton Agency. My first language is Spanish, both parents spoke it. Although my father was from Madrid and it was a little different from the Spanish my mother grew up speaking in South Texas, it worked in our home.”

The frown doesn’t budge as he straightens. Sheathed in a no doubt cut-to-fit charcoal silk suit, even from behind his desk power is radiating from him in thick waves. With every breath a wall of muscle ripples impressively. I’m shocked by a fierce desire to discover what the silk suit is hiding.

Those eyes run over me heavy as a touch, leaving licks of fire in their wake. “No way did the agency send you.” He leans back and studies me. The frown becomes a scowl. “Again, how the hell did you even get into my office?”

I focus on his blue tie while attempting to ignore the way my body riots at his deep, smoky voice. “There were a few empty desks. I didn’t say the agency sent me. I said I am with them. I’m not sure why they didn’t send me; however, I am the nanny you need. I’ve grown up taking care of babies as the oldest of nine. I love children. I also have an associate’s in child development. Contact my references, I’m an excellent nanny. I’ll make sure your daughter is well taken care of, that she grows up appreciating her heritage.”

He takes the file off his desk and tosses it into the trash. “No. Leave the same way you came in.”

His head goes down without bothering to see if I did as he ordered. Fear sends my pounding heart crashing to a halt. No! I need this job and he and his daughter need me. “Why not? I’m a damn good nanny—”

We both startle when the phone on his desk rings. He answers it.

That smoke voice wraps around me as I try to figure out what happened…is still happening. Unease has me catching my breath for a different reason. I don’t understand my reaction to Javier Castillo. I’ve been wondering if I was gay, my sister thought I was asexual when I admitted to her men held no appeal, not even the Hollywood stars everyone drooled over. After I looked up what asexual was, I didn’t agree completely with the designation.

A part of me felt there could be sexual desire within me. It just hadn’t been for the men I’d encountered so far. To satisfy my little sister I’d gone on four dates, each more painful until the last one ended in tears.

At least I thought women were pretty—even though I hadn’t been attracted to one yet. I couldn’t help but wonder if was because I thought it was bad to be attracted to women, and once I let go of that then I would find a woman appealing.

When I gave up dating a few years ago, I thought it was for the best. I’m a wreck of daddy issues. I adored my father before he committed suicide when I was fourteen. With his death, I found out the truth about him, and in doing so I lost trust in all men—unfair or not. With my lack of interest in men, I didn’t think it was a big deal.

No man has ever made my mouth water the way it does now as I watch and listen to Javier’s side of the conversation. He talks with his hands, and while they are large hands they are also…elegant is the only word that fits. I wonder what they would feel like on me.

What? No. Stop it. You are not attracted to him. If you are then you can’t take the job and you need this job. No more sleeping in a car and taking showers at a gym, for fuck’s sake. Get it the fuck together, Hope.

The sound of him hanging up the phone has my eyes coming up and meeting his. And I can’t fucking breathe.

“You’re too young. You’re too attractive. I don’t need the temptation of you down the hall from me.”

No fucking way does this man think I’m attractive, except oh god, as his eyes run over me the heat in them sends a shiver up my spine.

He shakes his head. “I don’t give a fuck you speak Spanish. I asked for a grandmother—”

He wanted a grandmother? The unfairness is more than I can take. “That is complete and utter bullshit. You are expecting an older woman to take care of a baby? There is no way an older woman will have the stamina to meet your daughter’s needs. I’m twenty-four—I’ll be twenty-five in four months. I am not a teenager who can’t control her urges.”

I roll my eyes. “As far as attractive, whatever. Are men so basic they can’t control themselves around a woman who is a fat ass and barely reaches a five on the attractive scale when you’re used to tens? Even Ken Benson admitted he didn’t know why he came on to me when he didn’t really want me, yet I’m the one out of a job. Are all men pigs or something?”

His scowl is so fierce I take a step back. “Who the hell is Ken Benson?”

What does it matter? “Just like a man, focusing on the wrong thing. I’m talking about what your daughter needs. Give me a chance, a ninety-day trial. If at the end of the ninety days it doesn’t work, I’m gone.” I hate the way I plead.

A hard shake of his head. “Who the fuck is Ken Benson?”

“The father of the last family I was supposed to nanny for. I was seven days in when he grabs my ass and rubs his tiny penis on me. His wife caught him and threw me out. He said I came on to him which was a complete ew.” I shudder just thinking of the pudgy man with sweaty hands, beady little eyes, and sour breath.

“It was the only job I’ve been called on in the last three months. They didn’t want to pay me for the days I was there. Which was crap especially when as usual with most families, I worked far more than just the forty hours I was supposed to over the week.” Every nanny ever worked harder and longer than the job description, and we were never allowed to complain.

“You weren’t paid for the time you worked?”

Is he mad at me or the Bensons? “The Bensons wouldn’t pay so the Thornton Agency did. It’s been weeks and they haven’t called me with a job since. How is it my fault? I’m a damn good nanny. I love kids. I would be a far better nanny than a woman even in her forties, never mind a grandmother who won’t be able to keep up with a baby. How old is your daughter?”

He sighs. “She’s twenty-one weeks. I’m sorry, but you’re—"

“I think I’m gay,” I blurt out. Anything to convince him I won’t be a problem.

“Think?” An eyebrow goes up as his eyes travel over me, heavy and hot as a touch. Those eyes kick over a hive of bees in my tummy I had no idea was there. Honey begins spilling out into my veins then pooling at the apex of my thighs—something that has never happened before.

Fear shocks me out of the tangle of longing— No. Stop it, Hope. “Not hiring me because I’m not a grandmother has to be illegal—aren’t you a lawyer? I won’t be one of those clinging weird women who comes on to you either. Your daughter needs someone who will not just care for her but care about her, and that’s me.”

He shakes his head.

“A ninety-day trial.” I’m begging now, all pride gone. “You will not regret it. For you or your daughter.”

His jaw goes tight, and he sighs. “Thirty days.”

I open my mouth but his eyes go molten, warning me to quit while I’m ahead. I nod. “Thirty days.”

He writes something down on the yellow legal pad in front of him then tears off a page before offering it to me. “My address. You’ll get your thirty days, don’t blame me when you come to regret it. I need you there every day. It’s live-in but I’ll pay your rent for the month for wherever you are living. Don’t give up your place—I don’t want you left homeless when the thirty days are up and you don’t last. You’ll get the guidelines and rules to follow at my home from my mother, who is with my daughter today. If you break any one of them you are immediately gone, no thirty days.”

Taking the paper, I nod. There is no way I’m going to screw this up by opening my mouth again. Before he can change his mind, I leave without looking back, even as I feel his eyes burning onto my back.